Barbie Saves City of Newton
A four foot high Barbie doll found in the trash is much too good a prop to send to a landfill.
Near our house there's a small dike on the Charles River where a little portion of the river splits off. The day before we had noticed that the old cement dike was in tough shape and there was water leaking through it. We taped a stuffed rubber glove to Barbie and posed her with her finger in the dike.
... and sent this off to the local newspaper,
While Memphis slowly sinks under the rising Mississippi, a quick thinking
Barbie saved local Upper Falls residents from a similar fate. "I was
like walking in Hemlock Gorge, and like I saw this water leaking out of
the dike" said four foot high local hero Barbie. Without a thought
for her own personal safety, Barbie stuck her finger in the dike to hold
the mighty Charles River back until help could be summoned.
when they didn't respond, I followed up the next day with:
Dear Editorial Staff,
I'm just writing to let you know how absolutely shocked and frankly disappointed I am in the Tab's news coverage.
Poor four foot high Barbie has been holding back the flood waters of the
Charles for over 24 hours now and single-handedly saving the residents
of Upper Falls from near certain destruction .... and nary a mention in
the Tab. Now I do understand the importance of covering our
democratic process ... but this is Barbie we're talking about.
Where are you priorities? Where is your news sense? What about the public's
right to know? What about the sacred trust of the fourth estate?
On Wednesday, when they still didn't respond, I sent the following
Dear Editiorial Staff,
On
Tuesday morning a quick thinking four foot high Barbie doll spotted a
leak in the small dike in the Hemlock Gorge Park of Ellis St. Said
Barbie "I remembered like this old story about a kid in Holland and a
dike". Without a thought for her own safety, Barbie stuck her finger in
the leaky dike on Tuesday morning, holding back the springtime flow
from the surging Charles River. All day and night Tuesday and into
Wednesday morning Barbie waited fruitlessly for help from local
authorities. Said Barbie to a passerby Tuesday evening "are they like
ever going to come?".
Local Upper Falls resident Marie Jackson reported that sometime
Wednesday Barbie disappeared without a trace. Said Jackson "she was so
brave and after what's happening in Memphis it was just so
reassuring to see her plugging that dike." Local residents were
alarmed to discover her missing and rumors of Barbie's fate spread like
wildfire through the tight-knit village. Some guess that she's now in a
landfill, others hope she may be in a local child's play room. Said
Jackson, "I'd like to think she was swept into the river and out to sea
and will soon wash up on a beach somewhere, ready to help another
community in need".